One Love’s 10 Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

This information is provided by our partner One Love, a non-profit dedicated to educating young people about relationships, empowering them to identify and avoid abuse and create a world of healthier relationships.


While everyone does unhealthy things sometimes, we can all learn to love better by recognizing unhealthy signs and shifting to healthy behaviors. If you are seeing unhealthy signs in your relationship, it’s important to not ignore them and understand they can escalate to abuse. 

If you think you are in a dangerous situation, trust your gut and get help. 

Hi, wyd?
10:23pm
You know I really care about you, right?
10:26pm
Do u want to hang out after school?
10:27pm
I’m really into you?
10:29pm

1 of 10

Intensity

When someone expresses very extreme feelings and over-the-top behavior that feels overwhelming.

I’m not giving you my password
12:58pm
What do you have to hide?
1:13pm
If you’d really love me, you’d give it to me
1:15pm

2 of 10

Manipulation

When someone tries to control your decisions, actions or emotions. 

I’m not giving you my password
8:45am
Did you see Gabby’s story??? They totally outted Luis!
8:47am

3 of 10

Sabotage

When someone purposely ruins your reputation, achievements, or success. 

can you send me a pic without anything on?
9:17pm
i promise i wont share it
9:18pm
it’ll disappear on Snapchat
9:20pm
all my friends get them from their gfs
9:21pm

4 of 10

Guilting

When someone makes you feel responsible for their actions or makes you feel like it’s your job to keep them happy.  

How did this get out? You’re the only person i shared that with!
3:43pm
IDK someone must have hacked my phone
3:59pm
weird
4:02pm

5 of 10

Deflecting Responsibility

When someone repeatedly makes excuses for their unhealthy behavior.

Why did u like her photo?
7:06pm
You told me you were going to see your friends but I see you’re in town
7:08pm
Why r u lying???
7:10pm
Who r u with??
7:11pm
Send me your location now
7:13pm

6 of 10

Possessiveness

When someone is jealous to a point where they try to control who you spend time with and what you do. 

Did you unfollow my friends from my account?
11:40pm
And did you change the password for my TikTok account??
11:46pm

7 of 10

Isolation

When someone keeps you away from friends, family, or other people.

Why did you post that pic?
6:23pm
ngl you look desperate for likes
6:25pm
This pic isn’t flattering at all
6:27pm

8 of 10

Belittling

When someone does and says things to make you feel bad about yourself. 

I tried calling you a few times
1:53pm
Why aren’t you picking up?
1:53pm
Pick up your phone!
1:55pm
You’re driving me crazy!!!
1:58pm

9 of 10

Volatility 

When someone has a really strong, unpredictable reaction that makes you feel scared, confused or intimidated.  

Noah sent me nudes…
11:01pm
photo here
11:03pm
Woah
11:06pm
Dammmmnnnn
11:06pm
But don’t tell anyone I shared this with you
11:21pm

10 of 10

Betrayal

When someone is disloyal or acts in an intentionally dishonest way.

For more resources on how to spot the signs of an unhealthy relationship, visit One Love.

If you are impacted by relationship abuse, 24/7 free and confidential support is available at:

National Domestic Violence Hotline